I rode with Pugsley and almost 300 other bicycles and riders on Lake Minnetonka last Saturday.
It was the Excelsior Brewing Company IDITARIDE, Fat Bike Race. We did not win, nor did we even race. We did not ride very fast either, we only did one lap, not two as was required to finish. We crashed at least 30 times. I trashed my left knee and tore my jacket. We were categorized DNF. I say WTF we had fun.
Riding on a frozen lake is always a challenge. Last year at this same event Pugsley decided that without studded tires we both would get hurt. It was very cold, hurricane style winds, and fresh soft snow. Nothing was packed down. There was no traction to be had no matter how much air we let out of the tires. If Pugsley and I tried to go forward all we did was slide sideways and then more often than not we would fall over. We got off the ice and slid back to the brewery. We did not even DNF we were categorized as DNS.
This year was warmer than last. Pugsley still could not cough up the $500 for a pair of studded 45Nrth Dillinger tires. The lake was frozen as before but the snow was more inviting. Even so, my man grapes ended up bouncing on Pugsley’s top tube more times than he would care to admit, but mind you I am not whining. I knew there was beer to be had at the finish. Thankfully, Pugsley escaped uninjured.
After my big fall in the first 50 yards from the start, I tried to calm down, or I was in shock. It is still unclear. My grip on the handle bar became more gentle as we rode into the 20+ mph wind towards the island. I was glad to be the Lanterne Rouge. Now I had no worries of people running over me when I fell.
The surface varied from bare ice to a bit of packed snow, to a little deeper lumpy snow. Transitioning from one to the other usually resulted in a nervous wiggle and usually I was smooth and recovered. On occasion a dab or a fall. There is no place like home. There is no place like home, There is no place like home.
When Pugsley and I arrived at the island, there were a couple of ATVs. My friend Heath, author of Defiant Bicycles and a couple of helpers from Excelsior Brewing were waiting. Pugsley and I paused to say hello as the race leaders lapped me and motored up onto the Island to enjoy the single track. They moved very swiftly, like Gazelles on a frozen savanna. As the front-runners leapt back onto the ice from the island I was being served two fingers of Excelsior’s darkest elixir in a plastic cup. Homey don’t do slippery single track, even with a little extra bit of Dutch courage.
Very relaxed, I made my way back to terra firma.
Pugsley decided to wait in the car while I went into the Excelsior Brewing Company’s new Tap Room. Tap was correct, but there was no room. A great band was playing, riders and loved ones, and poor devils who had not a clue who all these superfluous people were stood around drinking in the good vibes.
I and a thousand of my closest friends were now nuts to butts trying to get to the bar for a beer. I don’t know if the lines were so slow because people were using cash or their credit cards with the iPads to pay. By the time I got to the bar to order I forgot why I was there. Quickly I came to my senses and ordered a glass of their darkest, hoping it was the same brew that I enjoyed on the ice. As I turned and left the bar it was no longer nuts to butts and I freaked and spilled some of my well earned beer on my shirt. Should I go right or left? Left was the music. Right were these big stainless things that they make beer in. I went left and then right and got as far away from the band as possible, but I could still hear and see them. A guy who was next to me in line, ended up in the same spot, but he was smart. He purchased two beers so he would not have to endure the line again. Real smart.
It is just as well I only acquired one beer. I would’t want a DUI with my DNF.
All in all it was a great event. My favorite part, besides falling incessantly was being able to witness the real racers race to and from the island. I have no clue who won!
Pugsley said he will start saving his money now to get some studded tires for next year. He hopes to finish the entire race. I wouldn’t mind either.
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